I tried to look up the percentage of American's married. The last census in 1990 came up with something like 55.6 % of American's are married. That's a tad bit over half. There's also the statistic of how close to 50% of marriages end in divorce. So if that's the case... who's staying married?
In two months I will be celebrating my 9th wedding anniversary. That means next year will be 10 years. I can hardly believe it. 10 sounds so much more official and daunting in my book. I recently described what has happened in the almost nine years of marriage. I didn't explain the day to day. The small that stuff that we irritate each other with. Whether it be leaving clothes beside the bed instead of in the hamper (not me). Or is it that the label organized mess has been permanently attached to how your spouse describes you. (guilty) You know when PMS comes around there'll be more arguments and less liking each other. Just like you know when the other is mad when there needs are not met. What is it that holds a marriage together? When the little things add up and you just want to scream at the other person. What makes you stay? My parents divorced when I was twelve years old. They each have their own reasons and their own stories. It is probably why I am terrified of divorce. Yet there have been moments when the idea has been appealing. I know I say this for both of us. You look at where you are and wonder if you are both going in the same direction. Do you have the same goals in life? Are you happy? (Now that's a loaded question.) I know for us there are times when only one of us is holding it together. It is scary... but it also real. You trust this person with your life. With your childs life. With your future. Thus far for us the thought of staying together outweighs the thought of going it alone. I know it's not the case for everyone. I don't get angry at those people who resort to divorce like I did when it happened to my family. I've been there. I've had those thoughts of just giving up. When you just reach the point where you don't care anymore. Then I breathe and I step back and take time. I realize that I love my hubby with everything in me. I may not especially like him at the moment, but I know life without him is not something I want to contemplate. We can sit in the same room and be very upset at each other and know that we still love each other. I've learned much in these nine years. He has taught me a lot. He has taught me to be honest with my feelings and know that as scary as they may be I'm entitled to them. They are mine and no one can take them from me. He's taught me to love even when I don't like. I thought you couldn't do that. I thought you had to love all the time. I'm happy to tell you what a freeing experience that is. It gives you the freedom to be angry and upset and not like them. But they are still there for you when you come in and say "I'm sorry".
Much love to you today!
Peace~
1 comment:
I completely understand! I can't say I'm an expert...by the farthest of far! We are coming up on two years and I already know what you mean. It didn't help that we never really had that "honeymoon" period. There are times I just want to wring his neck. Then there are others that I just count my many blessings that he happened to me. It's a learning process and I'm up for the challenge.
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