You’re asleep in the other room. Again it seems that I can’t sleep. So many nights leading up to this point I’ve been restless and unable to fall asleep when you do. I want to lay next to you and fall asleep together but it doesn’t seem to be happening the way I want. Just like this whole six month thing isn’t what I want, but I know it has to be.
It still doesn’t seem real to me. You’re my best friend and I’ve never been without you this long. Not here for me to cry with or to hold hands with. Seems like we’ve done more of that in the last week or two then we have in a long while. I’ve held you and hugged you and just watched you. Trying to get my fill before I can’t see you anymore.
Whoever came up with the idea of war should be shot. Lol I’m just not ready for you to leave us. I’m not ready to take care of Melina on my own. I’m not ready to take care of me on my own. Then I think about the finances and money and paying for bills and I just want you to stay and take care of me. This is all kind of spilling out without me thinking about what I’m writing.
There’s so much I still want to say to you. So many things I want us to do together. Six months seem like an eternity. You have to come back to me. You have to. I don’t know how I could go on without you, my best friend. I’m trying to be strong and not cry. It’s just not me. I show how I feel, people know what I’m thinking when they see me. So this will be no different.
You are the best thing that’s happened to me, aside from Melina. Yet, without you there would have been no Melina. I wasn’t prepared for this day to come. I’m still not and I’m only 28 minutes away from that very day I’ve been dreading for so long. We knew it was coming and I refused to discuss it until the time came. Now it’s here and I’m still not ready.
*sigh* What more can I say that we haven’t said already. I love you. A thousand times I love you. You are my hero. My confidant. You are my lover. My best friend. You are my life partner. My help me. You are my soul mate. My soul will be lost without you. I love you more than I love myself sometimes. I love you with everything in me. I thank God for the day he brought us together.
Take care and know that I will be counting down the days until you come back home. I pray that God will watch over you and hold you when you’re lonely. Hug you when you’re scared. Hold your hand when your worried. Love you when seem so far away. Please take care of yourself. Please be careful. Please know that I love you and I will miss you everyday of these next six months.
1 comment:
Pammers...I am here for you if you need to talk. I have dealt with Chris leaving for two months at a time so while it's not as long, I have done it now about six times. I know you can do it. You are a strong person. But, if you EVER need someone to yell at or to cry with, I'm here. I will email you my phone numbers too. Tell Jeromy that I will be praying for him. I will be praying for you and Melina as well. I love you and hang in there!!
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